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Recent Posts

Keeping What Really Matters (and a revelation about why I write what I write)
How Do I Let Go of This Stuff?
A Bridge to the Past
K. Dawn Byrd
Alice Wisler-- Faith Believes, in Spite of What We Cannot See

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Refinished Dreams

Keeping What Really Matters (and a revelation about why I write what I write)


In the on-going saga of cleaning the Melby basement and letting go of sentimental stuff, I stumbled on another tough one: Children's books. So I prioritized them on a 1 to 10 scale of memory-making intensity. It helped me part with a huge stack. 

But these are all tens: 


They are the books I distinctly remember reading to my boys. Some of them have their names inscribed in my mom's handwriting. In one, Jeff's name (in his printing) is crossed out and Mark's scrawled below it. In Baby Animals, the eyes of every animal are scribbled over in crayon. Definitely worth keeping and reading to my grandkids. 

And then I unearthed a book I remember my mom reading to me. (Yes, they had books back then.) It's called Food and Clothes-- Published in 1938, reprinted in 1940, by Thomas Nelson (the original company began in 1798!) 

The book is divided into two sections: Food. And Clothes. (I know. . .duh. What else would you expect considering the title?) The Food half contains "Then and Now" stories like "Milk (or Bread or Meat), A Story of Long Ago." The "then" stories feature a cave man family. The "Now" stories are about a "modern" family. As a kid I loved imagining what it would have been like to be Kim or Kee (never could figure out which was the cave girl and which the boy). Looking at it now, I love that the "Then" back then is the "Long Ago" now. (Raise your hand if that made no sense at all!)

Anyway, it got me thinking that maybe my writing career actually began while I was snuggling on the "davenport" with my mom when I was three or four. Because now I'm writing contemporary stories with historical parallels -- grown-up "Then and Now" stories. My current books go back to 1852, the Roaring Twenties, and 1912. The proposal I'm working on has parallels in the 1940s, 50s, and 60s. Something to remember as I snuggle up with grandkids and a pile of books.

What were your favorite books as a child? Do you see any way they influences the course of your life? I'd love to hear your stories.



How Do I Let Go of This Stuff?





I've known for years that I have ADD. Now I'm finding I also have APAD: 

Aluminum Pan Attachment Disorder. 

My sweet little mom died last June. She was 93. She lived a wonderful life and left us with so many heartwarming memories, life lessons. . .and aluminum pans.

I don't believe in aluminum pans. Did you know they've been linked to Alzheimer's?Okay, so the Alzheimer's Association says it's a myth, but can we really believe them? I'm a bit of a health nut--occasionally crossing the line into health nut case--which is why I switched to glass cookware several years ago.

So my mom dies and I inherit her pans. Pans I will never use, but which hold precious memories of from-scratch baked beans, clam chowder, barbecue, lime jello with pineapple and cottage cheese, and the best chuck roasts and gravy in the whole world. Oh, and Christmas plum pudding. How can I let go of the pans I learned to cook with? And the scenes attached to them that attach me to my past?

Sure, I could bless someone else with them, but what kind of a person would donate a potentially-dementia-causing pan to charity?

To really see the ridiculousness of my problem you need to take a close look at this picture. See the little green stickers? Those were put there by my mom when we had a garage sale to get rid of things she didn't want to cart along to the retirement center. They didn't sell (maybe because I hid them under the card table). But she let go of it all, so why can't I??

I'm beginning to see why I've found my writing niche in contemporary stories with a historical thread. Seeing reflections of the past in the events of today is not just a passion -- it's an illness.

Help! Anybody have a cure for APAD? How do you let go??

A Bridge to the Past

I'll soon be sharing pictures and stories from "The Research Road" as I visit Mineral Point, Wisconsin, Eureka Springs, Arkansas, and hopefully some stops on old Route 66. For a sneak peek, join me atThe Barn Door.

Thank you, Lisa Lickel, for the invite.

K. Dawn Byrd

K. Dawn Byrd gives us a glimpse at the struggles of one of the characters in her young adult series this week:

Zoe Mack, the heroine in the Zoe Mack Mystery Series, has spent summers with her grandparents her entire life. Her grandmother led her to Christ at a young age. Zoe's not preachy or even really vocal about her relationship with Christ, but she does help her grandmother teach a Sunday School class for children.   

Zoe's grandmother told her that her life is her biggest testimony. Gram said she should just live for Jesus by always doing the right thing and that if Jesus' nudges her to do more, she should follow his lead.    

Zoe's cousin Emma thinks she's the recipient of some sick joke when an old boyfriend she thought dead shows up on the internet. Can Zoe solve the mystery that's causing Emma so much pain when her attraction to the town bad boy is so distracting? 

When Zoe Mack moves in with her grandparents to start college, she's thrown into more mystery than she bargained for. Her cousin, Emma, is terrorized by a stalker who breaks into her house and leaves a photo-shopped image of Emma hanging from a tree. Nothing is as it seems and Emma soon learns that even the man she thinks she can trust is suspect.

Secret of the Love Letters summary:
Zoe can't wait to reunite with Nate, the bad boy who doesn't talk about his feelings much, but the passionate kiss he gave her last summer had to have meant something. When she arrives back in town and discovers that he's in trouble with the law, she must take matters into her own hands in order to clear his name. She has her hands full with a needy Emma, a cop who gives her the creeps, and Nate, the guy she desperately wants to call her own. Can Zoe solve the mystery, clear Nate's name, and make him fall in love with her?    

K. Dawn Byrd is an author of inspirational romance and romantic suspense with five books published so far. Recently, she tried her hand at young adult fiction and found that she really enjoyed writing it. Three books in the Zoe Mack Mystery Series are scheduled to release January, June, and December 2012. Shattered Identity, the sequel to Mistaken Identity, will release in April.  She is an avid blogger and gives away several books per week on her blog at www.kdawnbyrd.blogspot.com, most of which are signed by the authors. She's also the moderator of the popular facebook Christian Fiction Gathering group at http://www.facebook.com/#!/group.php?gid=128209963444.   When not reading or writing, K. Dawn Byrd enjoys spending time with her husband of 16 years while walking their dogs beside a gorgeous lake near her home and plotting the next story waiting to be told.    
 

Alice Wisler-- Faith Believes, in Spite of What We Cannot See

I'm happy to welcome author Alice Wisler as my guest this week.

Alice, when did you first surrender control of you life to the Lord?

I grew up in Japan as a daughter of missionary parents and was dragged to every church function possible. I felt Christianity was for older people. I did my share of getting into trouble at school, especially in the dormitory where I lived during the week.

However, when we went on furlough the summer of 1977, I was invited to a youth group at a church in Alabama where my dad was speaking about missions. As the members of the group—all my age—sang and prayed, I fell in love with Jesus. (The guitar player was cute, too, and I think I fell for him as well!) 

What I remember most about that night was that there was a wonderful peace in myheart. I feared this peace would leave by the next day, but it didn’t. The rest of that summer I grew in my faith and wanted God to make my life into something beautiful.

What's the most difficult trial your faith has endured?

Losing my four-year-old son Daniel to death in 1997 has been my biggest struggle. Everyone was praying that his malignant tumor would shrink and that he’d be cancer-free. Instead, a staph infection crept into his compromised body and he died one cold night in February. My desire had been for his life, his health,and that he would grow up with his three siblings as part of our family. Now there is a hole in our family and in our hearts.

How do you keep going after a devastating loss like that?

I cannot say that I will ever understand why Daniel had to die. My faithwas broken; disappointment with God was great. However, as the years go on, I have learned that we serve a mysterious God, a God we cannot, nor should, put into a box. Faith believes in spite of what we can and can’t see.

I would love to have my son living with us, to share life on earth with him. I know he is safe and free in Heaven, experiencing more than I can imagine. But I miss him daily.

Since his death, I’ve written a lot of bereavement articles and always have grief and loss in my novels. I speak at conferences on Writing  the Heartache, a workshop I’ve created. Many tell me that my workshops, articles, poetry, and novels have helped them with their own losses. I thank God for that. None of this makes up for not having my son with me, yet, once again, I live trusting God, knowing that “His ways are not our ways.”

Give us an introduction to one of your characters.

In my novel, A Wedding Invitation, Samantha Bravencourt held a grudge against the young Amerasian girl, Lien. Lien is a loud and rowdy student. In the refugee camp, Lien was accused of stealing from another refugee family. Although never found guilty, Samantha was certain Lien was capable of theft and accused her. Later, Samantha’s heart softens toward the girl, she surrenders her grudge to God, and she asks Lien for forgiveness. Lien is quick to forgive her teacher which brings tears to Sam’s eyes:

“Oh, many people believe I am not worthy because I am Amerasian. But Jonathan tells me that I’m a beautiful creation made and loved by God.” She smiles and then adds, “And forgiven. Forgiven by God. That is an awesome thing, isn’t it, Miss Bravencourt?”


A Wedding Invitation
Samantha Bravencourt worked as an English teacher at a refugee camp in the Philippines for Southeast Asian refugees. Most of her students were compliable, but not Lien, an Amerasian girl who caused havoc in the classroom. Years later, Sam is back in North Carolina and meets Lien. Lien has grown up and helps to reunite Sam with Carson, the man who broke Sam’s heart. Lien has a big favor to ask them. She wants Sam and Carson to join together to find her birth mother in time for her wedding. Will they be able to work together in spite of the romantic tension? Will they be successful in locating Lien’s mother?

Alice J. Wisler lives and writes in Durham, NC. She is the author of Rain Song, How Sweet It Is, Hatteras Girl and A Wedding Invitation (Bethany House). Her fifth novel, Still Life in Shadows comes out this August with River North/Moody.  Alice also teaches Writing the Heartache workshops both online and at conferences and is a contributing columnist at Christian Work at Home Moms and Open to Hope. Learn more at her website: http://www.alicewisler.com and friend her on Facebook –http://www.facebook.com/alice.j.wisler.

Please leave a comment or question for Alice.

Wrestled into Peace -- Mary Keeley




Mary Keeley, my amazing Books & Such agent, talks about a time when life was not going according to her plan.




Becky, when you asked me to blog on a moment I realized God's genuine, personal love for me, I knew right away the incident I would write about. The impression still is that vivid in my mind. He has shown me his love in so many ways through the years, but recent time was life-directing.

It was one summer a few years ago. My husband and I were at a crossroads in our life professionally, and we were facing major decisions that would affect our future. It looked as if Brian’s health and back issues were going to necessitate a change of careers at the time unemployment was at a peak, and the company I worked for, a nonprofit publishing company, was gearing for major downsizing. The problem was we couldn't see viable options.

We had been looking forward to these years. Our four children were out of college and married with families. This was the time we were going to focus on saving for retirement and being more involved in serving the Lord. Wasn’t this a worthy goal? Why are you allowing it to be crushed, Lord?

Why are you afraid, O you of little faith! (Mathew 8:26).

I'm a planner. I like to know what is ahead of me and prepare for it. This was not a comfortable situation, and stress and worry were taking firm grip. I became aware our circumstances were occupying center stage on my mind.

I knew I needed to confess these sins. Childlike faith and trust are what please God; frustration and worry dishonor him. So I chose a quiet spot to be alone in the midst of his beautiful creation. Looking up at the sky, I meditated on the power and enormity of who God is…and the tiny speck I was in comparison. Alone with my heavenly Father that day, the reality saturated my thoughts, and I let go of all my plans, desires, and worries—I mean really let go—with tears, repentance, and worship. Rather than prompting anxious feelings at wiping my own plans off the slate, I sensed a flood of peace and could feel Jesus’s arms around me. I realized this was—and always is—where he wants me. I felt deeply loved by him.

How many times have I read devotions on this topic and Jesus’s own words: Be anxious for nothing, but by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving make your requests known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4-7). But in those few moments he lovingly led me to a new depth of meaning in those words.

God demonstrated personal involvement to allow these circumstances because he knew they would finally drive me to complete surrender into his care. Sure, I thought I’d given him control of my life numerous times in the past. But there still were pockets of self-reliance and pride he wanted to clean out. Another realization: I’m but one of his children. If he goes to that much effort to show his love for me, he does that for everyone. How great is our God! Those life-changing moments with him and the lessons he taught me were a precious gift.

But he wasn’t finished yet.

I shared our needs with Jesus from a corrected perspective now. I didn’t ask for the solutions I wanted and thought we needed, but according to his will and his purposes for us—and truly meant it. I admit to being vividly aware, and a bit scared, of changes this might bring, but I was determined to remain wrestled into peace. God’s provision was “…immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine…” (Ephesians 3:20). Within weeks Brian was offered a great position, non-threatening to his health issues, with a company in the same industry. No starting over. We were so thankful. Several weeks later Janet Grant surprised me with a phone call offering me a position as literary agent with Books & Such www.booksandsuch.com When I was an acquisitions editor at Tyndale House Publishers, she shopped proposals to me, and I was always impressed with the agency’s values, integrity, and quality of projects. I love my work; it’s a good fit. God had been fitting those pieces together all along. I was overwhelmed by his love and provision.

Things don’t always work out so beautifully—I know that; we all know that. But I am diligently watchful to remain in that sweet spot of peaceful surrender.

Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need (Matthew 6:33 NLT).       

Thank you so much for sharing this amazing lesson of surrender, Mary.

Please leave a comment or question for Mary.

Congratulations!

Ann Lee Miller won the Barnes and Noble gift card!

Win a Barnes and Noble Card

Due to a maddening email problem, I haven't been able to get the word out about my last three amazing guests--Patti Lacy, Andrea Boeshaar, and Margie Vawter. These three ladies poured their souls into their answers, so I'm offering an incentive to anyone willing to fix a cup of coffee or tea and spend a few moments reading their stories. I will enter the names of all those who comment on all three posts. The winner will be drawn at noon, Central Time, on Thursday, March 1. The winner will receive a $10 Barnes and Noble gift card. 

Margie Vawter--Learning to Live in Grace

Author and freelance editor Margie Vawter is my guest this week.

Becky: Margie, how and when did you first realize that God genuinely loves you?   

Margie:  Intellectually, I’ve always known that God genuinely loves each of His children. But experientially, I grew up with a father who was bipolar, though that term wasn’t used back then—he was manic-depressive.  I rarely saw genuine, unconditional love expressed from him. And that colored my perception about God that followed me through Christian university and the first fifteen years of my marriage.             

Early in 1992, I was diagnosed with a severe clinical depression. Not wanting to follow my father’s footsteps in many failed attempts in counseling, I sought a Christian doctor. And found him . . . nearly three hours away. Because of the distance, I had counseling twice a month instead of every week. One statement the doctor and other counselors kept saying was, “You need to learn to lighten up, especially on yourself, and learn to live in grace.”             

Since the only way to please my father was to try my best to follow a list of dos and don’ts, I easily fell into the legalistic trap. So I truly didn’t comprehend what these godly people were telling me. But I love to study the Bible and do research, so I dug into everything I could find about grace.             

As a result, a few months later when I was cleaning house, something I had read finally clicked in my mind, and for the first time I saw myself as God did before my salvation. And I finally understood the immense love God had for me—a love that surpassed anything I could ever imagine, a love that provided salvation for me, the least deserving of all people. And He had it planned even before He set the foundations for the world and all creation.         

The words to the third verse of “How Great Thou Art” ran through my mind, and the powerful statement of love drove me to my knees that day, in humility and in praise. “And when I think that God His Son no sparing, sent Him to die, I scarce can take it in. That on the cross, my burden gladly bearing, He bled and died to take away my sin.” No greater love than that exists.   

Becky: How and when did you surrender control of your life to the Lord? 

Margie: In spite of his mental problems, my father was one of the best Bible teachers/preachers I’ve come into contact with. Both he and my mother exhibited a life of surrender to the Lord in spite of the circumstances that seemed to indicate a different course would have been better.  That example instilled in me a desire to do whatever the Lord would have me do. As a young teenager, I surrendered control of my life to Him. But over the last forty years that surrender has had to be renewed, especially since I seem to have a tendency to attempt controlling it myself. Over and over the Lord reminds me of my youthful vow. And I surrender once again. The desire for Him to control my life is even stronger today than it was then because of the many tests I have both failed and passed. I can’t imagine life without Him in charge. Especially since His way is so much better than mine.               

Becky: Describe a time when a dream was shattered or you had to give up a goal that meant a lot to you. 

Margie: Sixteen years ago, the Lord allowed us to serve Him and realize our dream of living in the mountains of Colorado at the same time. We moved from Illinois to take the positions of camp director and kitchen manager at a small church-owned camp about forty-five minutes west of Denver.             Three and a half years later, we left the camp that we had planned to stay with for many years to come. Our dream was shattered. We were discouraged and really confused as to why the Lord had allowed our efforts to be misinterpreted and maligned beyond recognition. We had built a new home on the camp property that overlooked the Indian Peaks Wilderness Area of the Continental Divide—the area I have long called “my mountains” because of the cabin we own that was built by my great-grandfather in the early 1930s. But we only lived in it fifteen months before moving to a house in the Denver metro area.             

We left the camp as it seemed the Lord had other plans for us, but He kept us in the same church, worshiping alongside the same people who had maligned us and forced our resignation.   

It took some time before I could say I had truly forgiven those people, though I spent many nights in tears and in prayer before the Lord. My mother, again, was an example to us during that time. One thing I will never forget was her observation on the passage in Romans 8 that says God is working all things together for the good of those who love Him. Mom asked me if I had ever considered that those who had opposed us at the camp also loved God. And that He was working good for them as well as for us. Wow! Once I had thought and prayed through that, I was free from all animosity toward those believers. 

During that time we had two teenagers who were closely observing us. I didn’t want to be the stumbling block that kept them from following the Lord as adults. And as the years passed and they grew into adults, we began to see God’s hand in all of it.   

Several amazing things have come out of that time. One is that every one of our detractors at that time are now people we consider friends. One of them stood before the church last summer and praised the Lord for my husband and his skills in managing a remodel project at the camp. Not something I ever expected to happen. 

But the best thing that came out of that? Last month the church voted to accept our son as the permanent camp director for Camp Eden. When we first went to the camp, we were asked to start moving the camp from a strictly rental camp to running a program for children and teens in the summer and eventually include retreats for adults during the years. That didn’t happen . . . then. But in the last five to ten years a program camp has been established, and Randy was the program director for all those years except one.             

It was no coincidence that this happened at the same time the Lord finally closed the chapter for us in Colorado and moved us to SW Missouri for a new assignment. When we left the camp twelve years ago, I had no idea how the Lord planned to bring good out of the shattered dream. But He has, much more than I could ever have imagined.           

Marjorie Vawter is a professional freelance editor who proofreads and edits for CBA publishers, edits for individual clients, and writes. An avid reader, she also judges for several prestigious awards in the inspirational marketplace, and she serves as conference director’s assistant for the Colorado and Greater Philadelphia Christian Writers Conferences. She has published numerous devotionals and articles. Her first fiction, a novella titled A Shelter in the Storm will release Fall 2012 in Sundays in Fredericksburg, Texas. She lives with her husband, Roger, and cat, Sinatra, in southwest Missouri.   

Please leave a comment or question for Margie.

He Shall Bring It to Pass

Long-time friend Andrea Boeshaar is my guest this week. I've asked her to share about a time when nothing in life was going according to her plan. 

(Becky's note: After posting this, I found out Andrea's mom had passed away just hours earlier, on February 15. Please keep her and her family in your prayers.) 

Hi, Becky. Thank you for allowing me to be a guest on your blog. I’m about to share something extremely personal with your readers. However, I feel led to do this so that someone else might be encouraged to lean on her faith.  

In 2008, I thought I had everything going for me. I was writing books, editors were buying them. I was working part-time as a receptionist and medical secretary at the county’s largest Level I trauma and medical facility. I loved my job and the people I worked with. From the time I graduated high school, my goal was to be a medical secretary. So there I was. My husband and I had raised three sons. We had the house, the yard, our sons were married. Two were in the army and my oldest was headed for the ministry. I felt so proud of our family and all of my things. My little accomplishments.   

But then my neat little world all began to unravel that summer. My son called to say his wife had left him for another man. They were divorcing. My son was devastated. He didn’t see it coming. I was heartbroken because I loved my daughter-in-law. Next my husband confessed that his back was so “messed up” he could no longer work at his delivery service. The pain was so intense, he didn’t have the energy to grow his business and keep up with the changing times. He applied for unemployment. Meanwhile, I was in the throes of a book deadline for a brand new line that I was helping to kick off. My mind was in a whir. 

My heart felt divided between work at the hospital, my WIP, my home-life, and my own health, which was tentative due to fibromyalgia. I’d been on the Family Medical Leave Act for years, so I wouldn’t lose my job because of my many absences.   

We hung on. I finished my book, Love Finds You in Miracle, Kentucky (Summerside Press). Life progressed. We limped along spiritually. That winter my youngest son called to say that he and his wife were divorcing. He’d been deployed to Iraq. When we helped them move, I sensed my son’s depression. I found evidence that he’d been drinking. Turns out, he and his wife had been struggling for about as long as they’d been married. She finally left divorce papers on his bunk in Texas, from where he’d be leaving for Iraq (talk about a “Dear John” letter!). The news saddened and angered me to some degree, but I’d been so hurt over my other son’s divorce, that I think I was numb by the time this second one took place.   

The day my youngest son left for Iraq, I developed a terrible migraine headache. I couldn’t shake it for over a week. My vision blurred. I couldn’t work on the computer because my head felt like it might explode. My physician, bless her heart, put me on Lyrica and my headaches abated. But I was in a full-blown fibromyalgia flare-up. I couldn’t do anything except pace each room of my house and lie in bed, where I’d worry whether I’d lose my job or not. 

I had severed professional ties with my literary agent, which is always unpleasant. I worried about my writing career, where it would go. I was without a book contract. Now I feared I’d lose my part-time job – which paid pretty well and which my husband and I depended upon. He wasn’t bringing in any income. Everything was falling apart! Things seemed so bleak.   During that time, God told me to do an amazing thing. He told me to quit my part-time job. QUIT? Had I heard the Lord correctly? Seriously? Who quits their job, particularly the one they’d always wanted to do?   

Against my common sense, I told my husband, who actually agreed. The job as a medical secretary on the intensely busy neurological unit was far too stressful for me – unless I quit writing. I had to pray – and pray hard. Did the Lord want me to quit writing? I didn’t have a contract. Maybe He did. But I felt writing was my calling. My calling, but not my job. I saw them both as very separate entities.   

Again, God spoke to my heart and told me to quit at the hospital. I obeyed. Just days later, my new literary agent called to say I got a 7-book contract with Charisma Media’s fiction line, Realms. Seven books! I would help the line fold into the CBA (Christian) marketplace, whereas before Realms was known for its spec fiction, marketed mostly in the ABA (mainstream or secular).   

What a miracle! Such a blessing!   God enabled me to write the first six novels. The first four books are actually “expanded” novels that were previously published about a decade ago. The Season of Redemption series contains the same basic stories as before, and yet they are very different. Better!  

My latest series, Fabric of Time, is brand new! The first novel, Threads of Hope, just released last month. I got the idea for this series after putting together a family reunion and delving in to family history. While I’ve fictionalized the storyline, I used family names and real Wisconsin history.    



I also just self-published a novel to Amazon/Kindle, so readers who enjoy e-books can download it, either to their Kindles or Nooks – or even their PCs. The book is contemporary women’s fiction, first published in traditional form in 2003. I cleaned up the manuscript and updated it a bit. The title is Broken Things.  I’m so pleased to offer this relevant story to my readers.  (Please note, my historical fiction is available in both e-book and tradition print forms.)  

Overall, I believe the real-life trials that God allows me to face enable me to write moving fiction. I pray my stories will touch the hearts of my readers because I have learned to trust our Almighty God more than ever, He can and will meet His children’s needs. He will use their gifts in a mighty way – if they only believe His promises, like the one in Psalm 37:5: 
  
Commit your way to the Lord,
Trust also in Him,
And He shall bring it to pass.  

Thank you, Becky, for allowing me to be a guest on your blog.   ~Andrea  

To find out more about Andrea and her books, visit her website.

Please leave a comment or question for Andrea.
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